Smile For Me, Not At Me - YoonseokSope
by dabbleinthedrabble
Summary: Min Yoongi has a crush on Jung Hoseok. This is a fact of life for him, but not one that he is particularly ecstatic about having had to conceal it for years on end. Upon being on holiday in Thailand he realises something that ruins him further: Hoseok is fucking gorgeous without a shirt.


'This sucks.'

Two words in which he was intimately acquainted with by now; they were the first words that flashed across his mind as his consciousness stirred in the morning. It was only natural it was a re-occurring thought as it had plagued him for the past few years. But there was no melodramatic scene which you would find in those awfully written films about lovesickness and other pathetic things such as _pining_. No. Once awake, he simply stared at the ceiling blinking sleep from his eyes as he listened to Jimin quietly trying to get ready for the day ahead – and like he did every morning, he decided to suck it up and carry on, as per usual. It wasn't as if there was another option anyway. Suffering with the heat and having to wear a disguise of a sunhat and a pair of sunglasses was much more tolerable than brooding over useless thoughts of what-could-be's. Not only was he far above doing so, but it was also too humid to voluntarily waste energy making himself feel depressed.

They were supposed to be on holiday but somehow their schedules were still jam-packed, not that he particularly minded. Contrary to what the majority of their fanbase thought, time with the others – to him – was a treasured thing. It reminded him that he had left the life of spilling a churning mess of feelings in the spare pages of his textbooks under the roof of his parents' disapproval far behind him. Living that way seemed too far gone now, and instead he had slotted into a group of six other charismatic individuals who shared the same dream. He felt like he finally belonged – he felt home, and he would not tear apart his home just because of the feelings that had manifested themselves in his heart.

"You coming?" Hoseok peered around the door, inquisitive eyes locking onto him. Yoongi felt a slight twinge of pain which he shoved aside rather determinedly by banishing the duvet to the opposite side of the bed.

"Give me a minute."

"Okay. Just hurry up before Seokjin nags you – I think he's cranky this morning," Hoseok warned him with no real threat, an impish smile curved his mouth upwards. The sunshine that was pouring through a gap in the blinds casted shadows on his face and painted his irises a golden brown. Yoongi didn't trust himself to give a coherent response so he chose not to say anything.

Hoseok left soon after, leaving Yoongi staring at the empty door frame. For the second time that morning Yoongi recalled the thought that seemed to be permanently engraved in his mind and for the first time did he pucker his lips to spit them out: "This sucks."

* * *

Voicing his thoughts seemed to have triggered some sort of external punishment. It was almost like the sun had upped its temperature solely to spite him because his sunhat did not fulfil its purpose in the slightest – and if one more drop of sweat rolled down his forehead, dangerously close to entering his eye, he swore to himself that he would return to the hotel. Indoors was turning out to be more of a quiet retreat than the holiday itself, Yoongi craved to be inside where it was dark, and air-conditioned, and Jung Hoseok didn't have his fucking shirt off.

In front of the cameras everyone wore a shirt, it was a necessity, but when the camera crew were relaxing back in the hotel and there were no scheduled recording sessions, the boys were free to do as they pleased – free to have their own personal holiday. Which meant that, obviously, Jimin, Taehyung and Jeongguk were entitled to fuck around in the shallows of the water by throwing seaweed at each other or breaking the flow of the waves by jumping into them. Seokjin and Namjoon were off on another part of the beach, probably, hunting for rock pools to scavenge for crabs.

Usually, this would have been a moment of tranquillity for Yoongi. To sit on the sand under the shade of a tree and watch the others he often experienced something similar to solace. But, of course, none of that was possible when Hoseok had all but followed him under the tree and sunk onto the cool sand below, waiting for Yoongi to join him. At some point Hoseok had taken off of his tank top to lay underneath him after complaining to Yoongi that his butt had fallen asleep. Now, Yoongi was perfectly used to seeing guys shirtless – being part of a seven member group which practised dance almost every day of the week, it was almost part of his schedule to see someone shirtless. But to have someone so close, too close, to him and have it be Hoseok – of all people – to share an almost intimate moment with was a new experience.

"Gah, why is it so bright?" Hoseok cut off Yoongi's thought process, which was probably for the better.

"Because it's the sun," Yoongi settled for instead of going for his instant response which would have been: 'Because it's a curse.'

Hoseok snorted his laughter in response. "You know what I mean. It's hotter than it was yesterday."

"You're such an old person, talking about the weather."

"Nope, I'm gonna talk about the weather and stay young forever."

Yoongi frowned at him in a disgusted manner. "Don't make puns."

"It was unintentional, I swear," Hoseok was laughing even though Yoongi didn't think he had said anything remotely amusing. Yet, he found himself smiling – and then Hoseok was looking at him and he was too captivated to look away.

"You've got a nice smile. I like it." Yoongi felt the pain before properly processing Hoseok's words.

"What are you on about?" Yoongi withdrew and looked out at the ocean which seemed to be pulling away from him. "You don't need to tell me, I know I do," he added to regain some composure.

"Well, you should do it more," Hoseok sounded too cheerful, too warm.

"Are you telling me what to do?" Yoongi asked the ocean waves more than addressing Hoseok.

"I wouldn't dream of it." Yoongi turned his head one last time to absorb the content look of Hoseok's radiant features before he shot up and dashed across the beach to help Jeongguk and Taehyung fashion a seaweed necklace around Jimin's neck.

Yoongi pocketed the tank top which lay abandoned next to him without so much of a glance. The sea rolled on in a loud rhythmic chant which seemed to harmonise with the laughs of the four, riding across each wave, entangling with each other until dispersing in the horizon.

* * *

"You can't _make_ gravity; it's not like a cake!"

"No, no- I _know_. But you do make gravity happen-"

"No one _makes_ gravity happen. It just... I don't know, it just _does_ happen. It's a force and you can't make a force."

"Okay, so, gravity just _happens_ does it? And- and what about friction?"

"You sound like someone who believes the earth is flat."

"I do not! No- listen, friction is a force that you can cause. And, I'm not saying that someone _invents_ gravity, but we can cause it to happen – like dropping a pen."

"What the fuck are you two talking about?" Yoongi interjected; zoning into a conversation about forces only aggravated him further. It had been a long day of playing along with the schedule after spending time on the beach and he was everything that fell into the category of being annoyed and exhausted.

Jeongguk and Taehyung looked at each other in what Yoongi could only assume was fear of having woke him up. They struggled to explain themselves, their voices tangling together in different pitches which only made him wince.

"Well, _he_ said that love is a force-"

"-And then we started talking about what makes a force a force-"

"I've decided that I don't care. So, kiss and make up or whatever." When he next opened his eyes he didn't expect to be greeted with the sight of Jeongguk looking at Yoongi like he had just skinned a cat. Taehyung, on the other hand, seemed insistent on avoiding eye contact. He exhaled heavily. "It's not news to me. You were so obvious, it was kind of annoying." There was a heavy silence. "So, congratulations." He didn't really know what else to say so he gave an excuse – which, most likely, fell on deaf ears – and exited the room.

He found Hoseok – not that he was looking for him – in the kitchen with Seokjin. Hoseok, who seemed to have – miraculously - found another shirt, turned around to face him so his eyes automatically flicked downwards towards the kitchen counter.

"Ah, Yoongi, did those two wake you up?" Seokjin looked as if he couldn't decide whether to laugh or to take the matter seriously.

He took the stool which just so happened to be positioned next to Hoseok's. "They were talking about forces or something," he crinkled his nose. "What are you two doing?"

"We were talking about what we're going to make tomorrow," Hoseok answered, fingers drumming a disjointed melody on the surface. Yoongi found himself entranced. Hoseok had nice hands, seemingly smooth, veins tracing over bone. Yoongi decided to focus on the recipe book displayed in front of Seokjin.

"Make something nice," he directed. Seokjin chuckled and Yoongi felt himself being pulled to the left – being tugged by Hoseok.

"I can't promise anything, but we'll try our best," Seokjin had turned to place the book back in its rightful place. Hoseok had his arm draped around Yoongi's shoulder, so care-free and naturally. It made him feel warm, and drowsy.

"Ah, you're so humble," Hoseok cried with a bright smile plastered on his face. "I'm not, so don't worry; we'll make something nice."

Seokjin laughed and then drummed on the table as if to silence them for an announcement. "Now go to bed. It's been a long day."

Yoongi would usually be happy to comply but he found himself unable to move due to being wedged under Hoseok's armpit. He couldn't bring himself to complain when Jin left them in an intoxicating silence, so he spoke something else. "I have your top, by the way. You forgot it on the beach."

Hoseok's laugh gave away tell-tale signs of him being tired and jostled Yoongi slightly seemed to be a movement made in order to keep himself awake. "I didn't forget it, I thought I had lost it! So, it was you whole stole it, don't you have enough shirts?" Hoseok laughed at his own joke which caused Yoongi to turn his head to hide a smile.

"Fine, I won't do anything nice ever again."

"Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," Hoseok sounded sincere but his smile gave him away.

Yoongi was silent, as if he were contemplating. "You can have your sweaty top back."

"Not now, I'm comfortable like this," Hoseok seemed to be surgically attached to Yoongi's side. "You're so warm," he cooed.

"And you're sweaty," Yoongi lied in a deadpan. "And heavy. I'm not a mattress."

Hoseok chuckled, his throat too close to Yoongi's ear. "You may as well be," he retorted before proceeding to fake-snore which caused Yoongi to push him slightly.

"Don't you dare," he grumbled with only a slight threat in his tone. He pulled himself out of Hoseok's grasp and slid off of the stool. "Go to bed if you're tired."

"Don't you like me?" Hoseok stretched mid-yawn. Yoongi felt his heart give an awkward stutter and he scowled.

"You're clingy when you're tired." Hoseok pouted in response, Yoongi mustered up all the strength he had not to claim those lips which glistened cherry red in the fluorescent light of the kitchen. "Come with me." Hoseok did as commanded and the two walked down the hallway together in a mutual silence until Hoseok stopped outside his door.

"Good night," Hoseok called in a loud whisper as if they were on some sort of stealth mission.

Yoongi smiled. "Good night," he replied but he made no move to enter his own room. Hoseok didn't move either. The two were caught in a stare-down until Yoongi sighed and opened the door.

"Good night!"

"We've already done this." He heard Hoseok let out a burst of laughter before he sealed the gap between the empty room and the hallway occupied with Hoseok with the mass of wood. It felt cool under his touch and he wretched his fingers away, feeling devoid of the warmth he had received from the other.

 _God_ , that had been hard. Yoongi collapsed onto the bed. He couldn't settle on restraining the bubbling of his feelings, choking in his heart. The only thing he could focus on was the ring of Hoseok's laughter resonating in his ears.

* * *

The heat of the sun was too scorching hot to be dwelling on stupid, useless thoughts about Hoseok – or J-Hope as a few fans had cried out when they had been recognised – but that didn't seem to deter him in the slightest.

On camera, Yoongi appeared to be happy, joking around whilst making blunt comments. Yet, there was something detached about it. He felt distant from the situation playing out in front of him; he was forcibly immersed in thoughts which tortured him. Like how Hoseok's hair seemed to have a life of its own and how his eyebrows scrunched up when he found something particularly confusing.

And then Yoongi couldn't stop watching him. Watching the way Hoseok's eyelashes framed his eyes and the way he screwed them up when he convulsed with shaky laughter. He found himself noticing the little things he usually only picked up on when he was staring- he was brought back into the present by the sound of Hoseok's laughter. The same laughter which wouldn't leave his head.

Despite the thousands of melodies and tunes he had pelted into his ears throughout his life it seemed that nothing could compare to the vibrant sound of Hoseok's laughter and voice. It hurt him to know he could never produce something that could cause him so much pain whilst being in complete awe. He could never create something that was as breathtakingly beautiful as the sound that was etched into his brain.

He didn't look away fast enough and his eyes locked with Hoseok's, whose smile - which only a few seconds ago could have powered a whole city - seemed to burn itself away leaving nothing but invisible fumes and a concerned look making its way onto his eyebrows. Yoongi didn't know what to make of it and settled for throwing out a comment about how Jimin's hair looked as if it were trying to leave his head in the sudden gust of wind.

He ignored Hoseok's every attempt of eye contact until they were safely back at the hotel. He was pissed off more than confused; he was annoyed at himself for wanting a brotherly concern to be something more than it was and he hated himself for it. He hated that he could be that selfish to try and trick himself into believing an empty-headed delusion. So, being alone in his hotel room whilst half-listening to music seemed to be a perfect idea to close himself off from the storm inside of his head. A moment of peace which was shattered by a knock on the door.

He didn't hear it at first, only when a slight whining noise appeared in the background of his music did he realise that someone was outside the room. And there were no prizes for guessing who it was. He paused in front of the door before forcing himself to pull it open.

"The others and I miss you." Hoseok seemed to have made some sort of vow to never let Yoongi's heart be safe.

"You saw me the whole of today," Yoongi answered, determined not to be swayed. Swayed to what exactly, he wasn't sure, but he didn't believe that Hoseok had disturbed him just to deliver a message.

"You know what I mean," a care-free smile slid across Hoseok's face.

"You guys can't function without me," it was hard not to smile as well in the face of such radiance, but he was adamant not to bend and break with every bubble of his feelings.

"Exactly! So, join us, if you want? It might cheer you up."

"Who says I need cheering up?"

Hoseok's radiant smile turned slightly lopsided which caused Yoongi to inwardly curse himself and his frustration-caused bluntness.

"Is something wrong?" Hoseok asked him so sincerely that Yoongi's heart threatened to turn itself inside-out.

"No," he lied. He added, "I'm tired," as a less than mediocre excuse to explain the pain that was coursing through him, to have Hoseok so close but for him to not understand, to not feel the same. Then he exhaled due to his selfishness audibly and Hoseok's eyebrows shifted slightly, forming a look of disbelief.

"It's probably the sun," Hoseok supplied.

"What?"

"The sun. It's really bright, that makes people feel tired – and sick. Do you feel sick?" Yoongi wasn't sure if Hoseok was being serious or simply jesting. He _was_ sick, sick of those feelings causing unnecessary hurt and frustration. He was sick of looking at Hoseok and knowing that one day, someone else would trace those obnoxiously perfect lips with their own.

But it wasn't like he could say it out loud. "No. I'm fine, really. Go back to the others, I'll join you soon."

"You promise?"

He managed to look Hoseok in the eye – which was a mistake. His eyes were too wide, too curious, too captivating. Yoongi dropped his gaze to the circles under Hoseok's eyes that were clearly revealed since layers of powder had been sweated off. Hoseok hadn't slept, too, it seemed.

"I promise."

What was normal to Hoseok would have been to be with his friends, brothers, in a room that could barely contain hold their playful banter. What was normal to Yoongi, which used to be the same as the other, was quickly diminishing. What was normal now was to lie.

He broke the promise.

He pretended to be asleep when Jimin entered the room and when he heard Hoseok call good night to no one in particular. He wondered if Hoseok would remain sleepless tonight again, just like him.

* * *

The next day it rained. Perhaps 'rain' was an understatement. It was as if the ocean which breathed outside the window had started to choke and splutter, throwing itself up into the clouds and cascading down upon the dirt, the sand and the windows. Needless to say, filming was cancelled until the rain cleared up. Which meant that they would have to spend the day inside and that Yoongi would have to leave the bedroom to join the others. The thought had turned sour in his mind but he wouldn't hide away like some sort of coward.

So, having changed and having been supplied breakfast by Jimin (who had left pancakes on the dresser, clearly expecting Yoongi to wake up in the afternoon), he made his way to the communal room where he expected everyone to be gathered. He was greeted with the sight of empty couches and empty chairs. A vacant room.

'They wanted me to be sociable and they're not even here,' was the first thought that raced through his mind before being chased away by the prospect of comfortable couch cushions and the lack of Jimin's heavy breathing. Suddenly, he found the sleep he had abandoned catching up to him and pulling him towards the sofa. Being sad is exhausting, was the last conscious thought he had before reverting back to the engraving in his mind of: 'This sucks'.

He woke up shortly after, or a few hours later? He wasn't sure. All he knew was that his eyelids were too heavy to open, his limbs were limp and there was a cool hand resting on his forehead. Usually he would have slept through any disturbance, so it was strange that he had awoke. But then he realised whose presence was in his proximity.

He was about to stir and bat the hand away before its owner spoke. "I don't think he's ill," Hoseok muttered to himself, removing his hand before Yoongi could sunk into the touch.

"Is he still in there?" He heard Jimin call from outside of the room. Hoseok moved away, probably in an attempt not to wake Yoongi up – a thoughtful action made in vain. Yoongi was now listening intently, unsure as to why he was keeping up the pretence of sleep.

"Yeah, he's still sleeping," Hoseok answered. "Did you find the others?"

"I honestly think we need to buy leashes for Namjoon and Seokjin; I can't find them anywhere." They both shared a laugh before Jimin carried on. "Jeongguk and Taehyung are out 'looking'," he sounded resigned, yet, faintly amused. "Stay here for now. I'll come back when we've got everyone."

"Yes, sir," Hoseok replied, somewhat distracted, it sounded. And then Jimin was gone and it was just the two of them.

For Yoongi to wake up now would seem too suspicious to be true, so he kept his eyes closed and his breathing even. It was too silent for the room to not be empty but he hadn't heard the sound of Hoseok's fleeing footsteps, so he had to be in the room still. It was almost like a stare-down, except Yoongi's eyes were closed, but Yoongi was not one to back away from a challenge. So, he continued with his farce.

Hoseok started to hum an unrecognisable tune and Yoongi heard the unmistakeable sound of tapping on a phone. And then a camera shutter going off. Well, that was just playing dirty. In retaliation, Yoongi reached out with a lazy arm and proceeded to knock Hoseok's phone onto the floor with a dull thud.

"Delete that," he ordered in a low voice which was laden with sleep. Hoseok simply laughed whilst Yoongi watched him fumble for his phone.

"But you looked so cute!" Hoseok cooed before bursting into another fit of laughter, throwing his head back after seeing the unimpressed look written on Yoongi's face.

Yoongi didn't give a response, didn't trust himself too. All he could do was watch, entranced by the effortless beauty that Hoseok seemed to radiate. He watched, enthralled by the person that he loved-

 _Loved_. Oh, _fuck_.

Yoongi watched the man he _loved_ with every beat of his heart, every throb of his pulse, be so blissfully happy in front of him. Suddenly, nothing was stopping his sleep-ridden mind which was bursting with unrestrained emotion.

"You're beautiful." The words slipped from his slack tongue and launched themselves into the air, seemingly bursting into invisible fireworks causing Hoseok's giggles to be drowned out and eventually grind to a stop.

He knew that one thing that would break him would be to watch his own heart drop to the floor in front of Hoseok's knees and shatter, the shards skewering his skin. He knew this, yet, he couldn't tear his eyes away from the object of his affection that sat so close yet seemed so far away. He watched helplessly as Hoseok registered the seriousness which must have glazed his own eyes. Yoongi watched the smile that once was so dazzlingly wide shrink drastically as Hoseok seemed to try frantically to piece together the situation.

The words had been said, but he couldn't take it back, and he didn't want to. It felt cleansing to tell the truth. So he repeated it. "You are beautiful."

The smile began to grow on Hoseok's face again but it looked unauthentic - almost plastic - and then he delivered a laugh that matched. "Why thank you, it's nice to hear from my biggest fan." He was no longer meeting Yoongi's eyes but he hadn't moved from his previous position, crouched down next to the couch that Yoongi was currently occupying.

It was the perfect opportunity to crack a smile, breaking the sombre atmosphere that had fell upon them, and throw out a laugh followed by blowing a kiss. It was the only moment to take back the normality of their lives, to shove aside the selfishness that had spewed out of his throat and projected themselves into the air. The few seconds that Yoongi could have recovered their bond, their brotherhood, flashed by and dissolved.

It looked as if those few seconds meant an awful lot to Hoseok who had, at first, taken the statement as a joke now looked almost stricken. "Yoongi?" He approached carefully, it was as if he hardly dared to breathe.

Yoongi hadn't just dipped his toes into the water, he had ran right into the tides, waiting for the waves to drag him under. He exhaled and dragged a hand across his face. "Fuck," he muttered, coming to the terms that he was about to do something unfathomably stupid.

"What-?" He was cut off when Yoongi sat up such a rapid pace that he almost knocked Hoseok over. Yoongi sat frozen, unsure of how to begin but knowing exactly what to say, the words flowing and overlapping each other inside of his head but unable to travel out of his mouth.

"I meant it," Yoongi began, uncertain where to look before forcing himself to focus on Hoseok. He needed to make it clear he wasn't talking to the lamp opposite the couch. He also wanted to remember the last time that Hoseok would look him in the eye without any disdain or awkwardness. For now, Yoongi looked into the eyes of someone who was excessively kind, patient and courageous. Someone who hopefully saw the same in him. But all of that would soon be in the past. "When I said that you're beautiful, I meant it. You've always been beautiful to me and it's goddamn frustrating for you not to know it."

Hoseok simply looked lost and he searched Yoongi's face as if he were missing something. There was a brief silence before Hoseok said anything. "So, you're... complimenting me?"

Yoongi considered this. "Yes, but no." He was supposed to be confessing, not just complimenting.

Hoseok furrowed his eyebrows which meant that he was confused. Yoongi didn't blame him; he was doing an atrocious job at this. "Wait, now I'm confused," Hoseok looked at Yoongi for an explanation but saw that he looked just as confused as he was.

They stared blankly at each other, taking turns to open mouths to talk but then deciding against it. The situation was so ridiculous that it caused both boys' faces to crumple up before they burst into simultaneous laughter.

"What the hell is going on?" Hoseok asked in between giggles only to convulse further as Yoongi tossed him a withering look.

Yoongi found Hoseok's amusement infectious which meant that he was belting out a double dose of laughter. Silent sobs of his own stupidity layered with his body determined to match Hoseok's laughter caused his stomach to ache. Their howling ebbed away around the same time which left them both sighing as their exhilaration died down. And then there was nothing but the sound of the rain pouring.

Yoongi's eyes flicked from Hoseok, who was watching him, to the couch and back to their original starting point. Hoseok was smiling contently at him. Yoongi felt his pulse elevate and his stomach shiver.

"Do you have a crush on me?"

The silence was effectively broken.

Yoongi only felt a mild rush of panic before it evaporated as he analysed Hoseok's expression. The other boy gave off nothing but a calm vibe, his features arranged in a peaceful grin whilst his eyes sparkled. He seemed to be making the floor his second home, leaning backwards and resting his weight on his hands behind him.

"Does it matter?" Yoongi wasn't being evasive; he was telling the truth. It didn't matter because nothing could come of these feelings - a love could never blossom between them.

Hoseok surveyed him, rising towards him, his expression unchanging. "I think it does."

Yoongi frowned, uncertainty crawled up and down his veins. What was Hoseok getting at? It didn't make sense and it did at the same time. The world of hope and reality had collided and were merging together, throwing him off balance and lurching him forwards.

He was too close to the other, so close that he could smell the detergent of his clothes, feel the warmth radiating from him like he was the sun itself. Hoseok's eyes were half-hidden by his eyelids but Yoongi could see everything now that he was so close. He saw the intricate pattern of Hoseok's irises and he watched as Hoseok's pupils expanded.

"Tell me to stop," Yoongi salvaged some of his wits before charging headfirst into the waves. They were so close, heads tilted, eyes roaming upwards to the eyes then downwards towards the lips.

Hoseok reached upwards and Yoongi felt that the sun was dancing on his lips. Something akin to fire circled his wrists and only when he was pulled onto the ground did he realise that Hoseok had laced his fingers around him. Yoongi lunged forwards, unable and not willing to stop himself, he pressed his lips harder against Hoseok's, his hands securing themselves around Hoseok's waist and neck.

Passion clawed its way out of his heart and imploded inside of him. He found himself kneeling over Hoseok, bending down to meet his mouth. The sound of the rain was blocked out by gasping breaths and the sound of clothes being rustled by exploring hands. Yoongi pulled the unnecessary sleeve of Hoseok's top from off of his collar bone and pressed his mouth against it, testing the way that Hoseok responded, wrapping his arms around Yoongi's neck and moaning into his ear as Yoongi broke the skin.

Yoongi didn't remember where he was nor did he particularly care because in that moment the only person that existed was Hoseok and that was all that mattered. To hold him, to love him and to have him was all that had had dreamt of for the past years. He didn't care if he was still asleep and all of this had been a detailed dream because Hoseok was underneath him, responding to every touch and kiss, leaning into Yoongi's mouth when their lips separated just to continue the contact.

But if this was real, then what did it mean?

Yoongi paused from peeling Hoseok's thin top off of his scalding skin. Why was Hoseok going along with this? He shook himself and then stood up, freeing Hoseok from between his legs. "Why did you let me do that?" He was breathless and it almost pained him to talk, but he needed answers. Answers that only Hoseok could supply.

Hoseok had watched him walk away in hazy confusion it seemed, he stared up at Yoongi with unfocused eyes. "Because I wanted you too."

"No, you didn't," Yoongi deflected, any lust that he once felt was quickly subduing into a flat aftertaste. Pity sex was not something that he would accept, no matter how desperate. "You were right. It does matter. I want what I can't have, and you knowing that makes me feel a shit-tonne worse than what I already do."

Hoseok was scrambling up off of the floor, his hair mussed and curling around his ears, his eyes wide and pupils blown. "No, no, that's not what I meant- I meant that it mattered to _me_ ," he looked slightly surprised at himself. Yoongi watched on, puzzled and deflated. "I mean, it means more to me than you could ever possibly imagine."

"Why?" Yoongi was tired of playing the game, treading carefully so as to avoid any slip-up.

Hoseok, who was fiddling with the hem of his top, blinked in disbelief. He opened his mouth to try and explain before cutting himself off with an irrepressible fit of giggles. Yoongi's face screwed up and Hoseok tried to amend the situation, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's just... Isn't it obvious?" Hoseok was grinning now, a smile so wide that it threatened to split his face in two.

"Should it be?" Yoongi had no clue what was going and was struggling with what to feel.

"I constantly try to get your attention - I once even massaged your feet! I compliment you at every given opportunity, and I just let you ravish me on that cold, uncomfortable floor and you're honestly telling me that you didn't clue onto the fact that I'm more than a little bit in love with you?" Hoseok didn't even make it halfway before dissolving into another fit of laughter.

Yoongi stood in silence. He swallowed and narrowed his eyes, contemplating and then the actuality registered with him. Either this was an elaborate prank or for years he had been swallowed whole by his own lovesick tragedy that he had been completely blind to the truth in front of him.

"You suck," the words slid naturally out of his mouth. "You actually suck. Why did you not tell me before?" He kicked Hoseok lightly on the shin but with the intent to kill. Hoseok's laughter never seemed to cease. "You don't have the right to laugh after you've put me through years of this," he meant it but even so, the corners of his mouth were beginning to twitch.

" _Years_!? No- no, you're lying!" Hoseok had now collapsed onto the floor, presumably crying with laughter. Yoongi barely restrained the urge to kick him slightly harder. Why was everything they did so ridiculous? "You mean- you mean we've both felt the same for- for _years_?" Hoseok's tone was incredulous and his voice was too high-pitched to be taken seriously.

Yoongi snorted. And then he started to chuckle. "It's not funny, I don't know why you're laughing," he complained as a cover-up.

Hoseok nodded whilst sitting up, wiping stray tears from his eyes and breathing out the last few hiccups of laughter. "You're right, I'm sorry." Hoseok stood up and Yoongi's heart stoppered before beating erratically as his personal space was evaded. His hand was taken by Hoseok's and he took some time to admire how well they fit together. "Are we okay?"

Yoongi's response was immediate. "No. I'm planning your death as we speak."

Hoseok tittered as Yoongi had expected him too and watched in wonder. "I'm sorry. But I didn't know if you... felt the same? Gah, it's so weird saying all this out loud to you." Hoseok seemed to be developing a habit of playing with Yoongi's hands, swaying them gently from side to side and rubbing circles on Yoongi's skin with his thumbs.

"It's weird to hear you say it."

"But, like, a good weird?" Hoseok's signature grin had found its way back onto his face. Yoongi nodded affirmatively. "I'm glad. But if we're gonna do this – _us_ , we need to lay out some ground rules, okay?"

Yoongi nodded, ignoring the hammering of his heart when hearing Hoseok address them as an 'us', resenting the fact that he was quickly warming up to the terms used in cliché films revolving around teenage love affairs.

"You have to smile more."

Yoongi narrowed his eyes playfully and pulled away from Hoseok's grasp. "The deal's off." Hoseok was laughing again. "But while we're on the topic of rules, I have some," he turned back to Hoseok who was smiling expectantly. "If you _ever_ call me 'babe' I will never smile ever again."

Hoseok's eyes crinkle when he beams, Yoongi noted as he was pulled to Hoseok's chest. "Done." His arms wove around Yoongi's waist and all Yoongi could feel and smell was Hoseok's scent which seemed to envelope him. He breathed in too heavily to be subtle and he felt Hoseok's shoulders bounce. "This is so weird. I'm allowed to do this now and not have it be platonic."

Yoongi snorted in amusement, but also because his very core related to the statement. "Why have you wanted to do this with me?" It was as if every coherent thought had jumped out of his head and his brain had been filled with every script from every rom-com Seokjin had forced him to watch. The only excuse he had was that his heart was insistent on rebounding against his ribcage and he had gone into shock.

"Are you kidding me?" Hoseok had started to sway from one foot to the other so that Yoongi felt like he was a parcel being transported across the sea. Hoseok looked worried and Yoongi wondered what his cause of distress was. "You're like... You're like every trait I've ever liked in someone combined into one person. You're everything that I've wanted."

"For a second I thought you were going to say something cheesy," Yoongi deadpanned, dropping his gaze from Hoseok's face onto the hickey that had blossomed on his collarbone. A mark that he had left, boldly proclaiming that Hoseok was his. He shivered which Hoseok took as a sign of Yoongi being cold and proceeded to entangle himself with the other even further.

"It's true though. Oh! And the way that your eyes smile when you do too."

"You have an obsession with me smiling."

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I can't help it that you're beautiful," Hoseok pulled away and locked eyes with Yoongi. Yoongi stopped breathing. "Smile for me?" Yoongi's eyes travelled southwards down to Hoseok's lips. His eyes darted back up to find Hoseok looking at his lips too. Hoseok leant down, ready to seize the moment.

The door burst open and suddenly the hurricane of voices which the two were deaf to flooded into the room. "I found them!" Jimin emerged, triumphant. He brought with him Seokjin and Namjoon - who were eyeing Jimin as if he had been the one to run and play hooky in the rain – and Taehyung and Jeongguk who seemed to have become joined at the hip instead of just standing close to each other.

They were talking all at once and Hoseok used this as the opportune moment to mutter into Yoongi's ear: "Later." Yoongi shivered again, this time Hoseok understood why and smirked in a way that Yoongi deemed to be too smug.

Jimin, who had been leading the torrent of words drowned out everyone with a singular inhumane shriek. "No way! Not you two, as well! What the _hell_ is happening?"

A flicker of a sunray invited itself into the room through the window. A hand found its way into his own and squeezed reassuringly. All of the pain and the torment that he had concocted up himself seemed to uncoil in his heart, leaving him to feel lighter. It was like breathing with a fresh set of lungs.

Never had being surrounded by people he loved had made him feel so alive.

Yoongi smiled in the certainty of the fact that when days came where he wanted nothing more than to be alone, to cut himself off from the world for days on end, they would all be there still. And Hoseok would do all the smiling for him.


End file.
